Adventure in Ikea

Thank God for Ikea.
Or as the Germans would pronounce it - ee-kay-ja.

Although Ikea remains in the US the bastion of  the snooty, "Oh I got this from a foreign company" envy, Ikea is basically the classy Walmart of Europe.  A bit like Target.  But cheaper.

Which makes it the best place ever for a poor foreign student whose room is less furnished than a showroom.  We were all super happy to be at Ikea because:

a) we needed stuff and they had it
b) we are poor and they are cheap
c) we got to use our day-pass on buses and trains!

Here's a tip for fellow travelers in Germany - get a group of about 4-5 people and by the "state" day pass from Deutsche Bahn. It lets you travel all the buses, trains, and trams in the region you're in (ie, we're in Baden-Wüttenberg) for the day for about 30 Euro (about 6 Euro per person).  It's a much better deal than everyone separately buying tickets!

Anyway, we take the train from Tuebingen to Herrenburg and then from Herrenburg to Boeblingen.

Thanks to Emily for the pic!

Now we weren't sure how to get the Ikea from the train station because we didn't quite know where the Ikea was... so we took a taxi.  And we arrived at Ikea!

Our problems began first by going upstairs through the showroom backwards. We later noticed large arrows on the floor and giant signs at the entrance/our exit that directed traffic.  Nevertheless, we found everything we needed - sheets, lamps, cork boards, cheap silverware and dishes, laundry bags, and wastepaper baskets.  We scurried downstairs and purchased everything. 

We were all hungry so we decided to have lunch at the Ikea cafeteria. So filled with the post-purchase euphoria, we all (Although Jake claims he did see them.  I doubt it.) missed large signs on the stairs in German stating that we couldn't go back upstairs with purchases.

Meanwhile, in the Ikea Cafe, we got scolded by the server behind the counter for wanting a kid's meal pasta and I got stuck eating 2 crepes and a salad for lunch.  Let me tell you, getting scolded in German is frightening.

After our unsatisfying lunch we tried to find the way out. First, we took the UP stairs down and we got a lot of strange looks.  Then we realized we couldn't leave on the bottom floor with having to go back through the checkout lane. We dithered around, wondering what to do.  I suggested we "play the dumb American card".  So we then took the DOWN stairs up to get back to the second floor.  Thoroughly perplexed, we took the nearest elevator going down, hoping that this would take us near the exit on the first floor.  Too bad we didn't read the sign:

Keine Fahrt

Which literally translates to "no ride".

But the elevator had two sets of doors - one the left and one to the right.  We figured that one set would certainly lead us to parking garage or some sort of exit.

We got on with a couple and the doors to the right opened.  Right back where we had been originally - the showroom floor which led into the cashier stations.  They gave us strange looks as the doors closed and we didn't leave the elevator.  So we waited for the left doors to open.  They didn't.  So we waited for the elevator to go back up.  It didn't.  So we waited for the right doors to open again.  They didn't.

So we were stuck on an elevator.  Both left and right doors were closed and we had a panel with only two buttons: one with a bell and the other with a door open button.  Underneath both buttons was a sign that said in German - "Only press in case of emergency."

So we waited.  And giggled awkwardly.  And we waited some more, hoping the doors would open.  And we waited.  I wondered to myself, Have I really come all this way to get trapped in an Ikea elevator so that the Germans jaws of life can pry us out and cause an international incident?  And we waited again.

Until Jake finally said:

"How long to we have to be in here for it to an emergency?"

We held our breaths and someone finally pushed the door open button.  The right doors opened and we spilled out onto the showroom floor, bursting out in laughter.  Eventually we gave up and went back through the checkout aisles, finding the friendliest employees, explaining in halting German that yes, we were sorry and we didn't know you couldn't go up to eat after purchasing.  The employees gave us dirty looks while examining our receipts and bags and FINALLY we were freed from Ikea, lesson learned.

Too bad we forgot during this time how we had gotten there: we had taken a taxi.

With no taxis or bus stops in sight, we trudged the 1.2km from the Ikea back to the train station.  At one point we almost walked onto a on-ramp for the Autobahn.  We tried stopping at a bus stop far down the road, but no luck.

The intrepid Ikea adventurers: Jake, Zach, Yours Truly, and Rachel
Picture Credit to Emily again!

Eventually we got back home, exhausted and relieved to have escaped from Ikea.  But our day wasn't over - we took the train to Stuttgart (about an hour from Tuebingen) and we ended the day splitting a victory bottle of 15 Euro wine at the Stuttgart Wine festival.

All's well that ends well!