More than 250g, But Less than Nothing; Or How I'm Turning Into a Domestic Goddess

As the old adage goes, when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade (and maybe invest some vodka, if you want throw a party).

But there are no wise proverbs to go with what one should do with fresh pears and pumpkins, gifted to you by a teacher.

Luckily, Your Humble Blogger knows just what to do with pears and pumpkins - bake tasty things.

I'm an amateur baker at best, but as my dad always says: cooking and baking are really just applied chemistry.  (Good thing I liked chemistry in high school!)

Anyway, this weekend, my friend Melody visited Chemnitz and we devised a plan to bake some heretofore untasted (by either of us, at least) pear bread.

We also toured the town, made some rather crunchy (read: slightly inedible) brownies and saw Gravity, which might just be the best 3D movie I've ever seen.  (It also fulfilled one of the key phrase I learned in high school German - "Was machst du am Wochenende? Am Wochenende gehe ich ins Kino!")

And we also watched Drei Hazelnüsse für Aschenbrödel (aka 3 Wishes for Cinderella) which is the
best DDR film you haven't seen yet.

And the stunning(ly awful) costumes are only the tip of the hilarious iceberg.

I mean, what's in the King's hat?!
 WHO KNOWS.

Actually, aside from the costumes, the terrible editing, and three of the longest and most boring chase scenes I've ever had the displeasure to watch, the movie was actually pretty entertaining.

And I have to hand it to the Soviets, their version of Cinderella (who is bafflingly called Aschenbrödel, which isn't even German, it's her name in Czech) is way more badass than Disney's Cinderella, even if she doesn't have a fairy godmother.  

Anyway, if you want to catch the all the DDR glory, the full film is on YouTube, because Soviet copyright is obsolete.

But I digress.

Back to the topic at hand, which is baking tasty food.

Despite the hurdles:

- Converting from the nonsensical imperial measurements to metric (What do you mean I can't convert cups to grams?)
- An oven that doesn't do preheating (Are you warm or aren't you?! TELL ME.)
- The utter lack of mixing bowls  (Pots are the new mixing bowls.)
- The fact that vanilla extract does not exist in Germany (It also totally explains why German brownies are horrible.)
- The absence of any logical measuring marks on the single measuring cup my house has (Which lead to the comment by Melody: "We need more than 250 grams, but less than nothing.")

We made a delicious pear bread!

Which we ate.

All of.

On the same day we baked it.

Fast forward to today.

I spent 3 hours of my life, which could have been spent doing other things, making some pumpkin bread.

Of course, it would have taken less time had I had a can of pureed pumpkin on hand.

But then again, since I'm not a huge fan of squashes in general, I probably would not go out and buy myself a can of pureed pumpkin.  But I did have one small pumpkin of my own!

Luckily, the internet exists and is a wonderful gift to mankind and bakers everywhere, and I learned how to make my own pumpkin puree from scratch!

Have you ever made pumpkin puree from scratch, dear reader?

No, of course, you haven't because you're not poor and living in a foreign country, where you have to use you, yourself, your wits, and a fork to smash the living daylights out of chunks of slightly roasted pumpkin to make a puree. Or something loosely interpreted as puree. 

Needless to say, the kitchen was a hot mess and got pumpkin puree over almost everything in the kitchen, including myself.

And then I still had to make the bread batter.

Let me tell you, with the except of cinnamon, which is Zimt in German (doesn't it just sound zippy and delicious?), the other seasonings sound repulsive when translated into German.  How would you like your bread with some Nelken (Cloves), Muskat (Nutmeg), and Inwger (Ginger)? They don't sound as appetizing in German as they do in English.

Anyway, after 3 hours, behold the glory of my bake-wizardry:

A perfectly cooked and perfectly delicious loaf of pumpkin bread.  (As I'm typing this, I'm baking another loaf, which will (hopefully) be just as perfect for the teachers at school.)

Of course, my roommates now think I'm a domestic goddess.

Well, that is, until I get kitchen and bathroom cleaning duty next week.

Lots of Love,

Your Humble Domestic Goddess

PS.  I got another new roommate this weekend from the Ukraine - her name is Katarina (aka Katya)! So now we have a full house!

PPS.  The recipe for said pumpkin bread is here, for those interested.